Week 10 is in the books and we are nearing the conclusion of our fantasy regular season. There are 4 weeks left so there is still time for several teams to slide into the final playoff spots. We’d love to do a deep dive on remaining schedules and who’s trending a certain way but this terrible app that Riley made us switch to doesn’t show any of that. Looking at hindsight, it seems like Sleeper was Riley’s “Project 2025”; his roadmap to make this league more terrible in every way.
Riley ruining everything.
Before we go too much further, let’s check in on the Guillotine
League. We’re down to only 6 teams
remaining and 4 are CNK managers. Mitch,
Chris, Riley and Finken all still have their necks intact after South lost his
two weeks ago. Now that we’re digging
into it, the other survivors are Mitch’s father-in-law and brother-in-law. Seems suspiciously coincidental that three
members of the Curtis household has all made it this far. Reached for comment, Heidi assured us there was no collusion going on and she definitely hasn't already spent the winnings to
finance an addition to the stable.
Mitch's backyard after he or his kin wins the Guillotine League.
As a friendly reminder, the trade deadline is Week 13 so you’ve got 2 more weeks to solidify your line-ups for the title push. The problem is two guys own all of the decent draft capital and they don’t seem to be keen to part with any of it. So let’s get creative people. And now, on with the Power Rankings…
1. If We’re Using Logic – Chris has continued to roll over the league
on a weekly basis, much like Southy has in previous years. (How did that end up for South all those
years?) He’ll likely walk to the #1 seed
and have his choice of opponent. He’s
won 3 matches in a row and can chalk up #4 this week against Abel whether Jared
adjusts his roster for byes or not. Lazer
could rest easy this past week after Burrow and Chase posted 93 points on
Thursday night. His weary bones needed a
breather after spending the prior week trying to figure out a way to stump
Southie during the escape room portion of his Halloween party. Better luck next year Chris.
Said Southie never...
2. Smells Low – Riley may not have a better record than the next few
teams but he’s scored the 2nd most points and his roster has
actually outperformed even Lazer’s squad.
His Max Points For is decently higher than anyone else. It helps that his QBs are hitting peaks
higher than Mount Snotcave on his face.
The Eagles have got the Brotherly Shove working again and Purdy is
making Chris regret choosing ARich more and more by the week. With 2 of his 6 all-time 200-point games
coming this season, Riley is in sniffing distance of his first title. However, with his schnozz, he could be
picking up a scent that is still years away.
Riley thinks he smells what's cookin' this year.
3. Ah It’s Early – Seth is sitting at 13-7 and in plum position to punch
his playoff ticket. Seth has made hay
with a few “Chief” acquisitions. Kareem
Hunt has been a breath of fresh air but that may be short lived with Pacheco
coming back from the IR. Trading for
Hopkins was a smart depth move and Kelce is finally starting to play like he’s
worthy of the price he paid for him. Seth’s
problem may be that the Chiefs clinch everything too early and they start
resting key guys come CNK playoff time. Those
points will dry up faster than Seth’s AC when he’s not paying the electric bill.
Seth looking at Chris's sister...
4. Off Suit 10s – Kyle is the most fortunate manager this year, scoring
by far the least points of the contenders and having the least scored against
him. His Max Points For is closer to
Abel’s than the main three contenders. He
also seems to have the toughest road left facing Riley this week and his
frenemy Lazer next week. Especially with
so many guys on bye this week. So he
needs to enjoy his spot here while he can because odds are, it won’t last too
much longer. If he adds losses faster
than he’s dropping weight, he’ll soon be stuck with that feeling he felt watching
(in person) Iowa get manhandled by soft Pac 12 school.
South watching Kyle's team from afar.
5. Fuck It Three – South is nipping at the heels of anyone sitting in
that final playoff spot. He’s won 4
games in a row and also been over median scoring in each as well. (Riley, that adds up to 8 wins) Plus he’s getting CMC back healthy and Lamar
is playing so well they might have to rename the MVP award after him if he
collects his 3rd this season.
It was a fun ride watching Garrett wallow near the bottom of the
standings most of the season but I think we all knew it wouldn’t last. With the star power he’s got on his roster,
South grabbing the final playoff spot and facing Chris for the title once again
feels inevitable.
Garrett seeing everyone else think they can win the league.
6. Rollin’ 4 Deep – There was bound to be one team that fell out of contention for a variety of reasons and it appears to be Finken having the year from hell. As previously noted, despite being 4th in scoring, he’s lost 4 matchups by less than a point and his WRs are consistently MIA. He’s got to get 2 wins this weekend against South or he can pretty much kiss any chance at the playoffs goodbye. Finken should be used to this feeling of disappointment after an offseason of hope and optimism after having not seen Nebraska go to a bowl game since he was in high school (rough estimate). It'd help if NU's QB started playing like his idol Patrick Mahomes, instead of Jackson Mahomes.
Rinse, repeat...
We’re going to do something different with the final two spots. Since we’re in a tank-a-thon with unAbel and
Mitch, let’s look at where they stand in terms in the race for the coveted #1
pick. We saw what we thought was the
nadir of the league back in Week 7 when both Mitch and Abel set a new low for
weekly scoring with 70.4 and 69.3 respectively.
But Mitch blew that out of the water last week with a glorious
64.5. Not sure how that one will be
topped with a legit line-up set.
Mitch shamelessly stripping his roster down.
And so Mitch runs in the lead by a decent margin in Max Points For with
a total of 1,391.12. He’s done a good
job of running off anyone who would score him points in exchange for more draft
capital in an effort to guarantee himself the chance to eventually trade the #1
pick. It’s kind of surprising that
despite Abel’s inability to set a legal line-up and use the waiver wire at all,
he’s got some guys on his roster that are putting up points and could be good
to contribute next year. The problem is
that it seems like between all their combined first round picks, Mitch is
likely going to have 3 of the top 4 picks and Abel will pick #2 and then several at the
end of the round. We’ve warned him
before but we’ll say it again, Abel, you’d better start studying now and get
ready to wheel and deal some of that capital!
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| Abel trying to prepare to rebuild them team. |
