Playoffs - Round 1

It was an unusual week in fantasy football.  Scoring was down overall as a lot of big stars dropped shit-bombs on their owners and a bunch of coaches trolled the masses by giving TDs to back-ups or nonfactors.  But that didn’t stop the PR’s top two teams from advancing to the finals.  Our championship game this year will be a rematch of the 7^th-8^th place game from last year.  The two worst teams rose above the rest to fight for a shot at the title.  And for the second year in a row, Kyle and Riley will fight it out for 3^rd place in the consolation game.  Let’s recap the first round and look ahead to our final week.

 

How did South and Lazer get so good?

First Round Recap

Fuck It Three  defeats Off Suit 10s – 145.08-135.05

It was all there for Kyle to take in this week’s closest matchup.  South scored almost 33 points under his expected total and none of his players went crazy.  Kyle did have the foresight to bench Johnny Interception and Josh Gordon, which may have been his plan all along.  Now instead of making the title game and shipping his 1^st round pick to Mitch, Kyle’s still playing for money and is only in line to give up his 4^th round pick (Gordon’s average is 11.45 per game).  Lehman needed just 43 points out of Smokin Jay and the Jimmy on MNF.  So doable even Yahoo gave him a 50% chance of pulling out the win.  Everyone figured Smokin Jay would shit the bed but unfortunately for Kyle, Brees decided to throw 2 TDs to a backup TE and leave the Jimmy hanging in wind.  Kyle, no amount of tweeting at Matthew Berry is going to change that.  As a wise man once said, “that’s football.”

 

This catch would've given Kyle the win...

If We’re Using Logic defeats Smells Low – 164.18-139.40

A few streaks continued in this matchup.  Chris has now won 5 in a row, he won all 3 matchups with Riley this season and Riley still hasn’t beaten a playoff team since Week 6.  Chris wasn’t bothered with Julio being sidelined or Shady McCoy getting 2 TDs vultured away.  Beckham’s 43 points allowed him to cruise to an easy victory.  Riley’s team was handicapped by his growing IR list and the fact that Peyton will probably be on there by season’s end.  He could’ve made a couple moves that would’ve made it close but Lazer could’ve done the same and made it even more of a blowout.  Apparently one lesson Riley never learned from his teachers at Bondurant is how to get past the first week of the playoffs.



Kyle could've used this too.

 

Rollin’ 4 Deep defeats I’m Out – 121.38-101.20

This matchup was an embarrassment on all accounts but Finken managed to sweep the season series 3-0.  But it shouldn’t have gone down this way.  Finken only had 3 players score double digit points and one was his kicker.  There were numerous people he could’ve switched out that scored more on his bench.  But alas, he needn’t worry.  As for young Abel saw it fit to leave $cam Newton and Andre Johnson in his lineup although they were both ruled out before Sunday morning.  Simply replacing them with RG3 and Colston would’ve given him the win by 15 points.  And now Murray is hurt.  But it’s ok, it’s not like Abel needed that #1 pick anyway. 

 

At least Abel wasn't upset this was overturned.

Ah It’s Early defeats Play It Backwards – 142.72-120.14

Seth put the finishing touches on his victory Sunday night as Romo and Dez single handily crushed the Iggles division hopes by combining for almost 60 points.  Seth had been waiting for this moment since last year’s title game.  As mentioned before, Mitch is the real loser this weekend.  His team fell apart this year, he lost to Seth in the first round after winning the first two matchups, he missed out on grabbing Lehman’s first round pick and was forced to start the SE Polk wunderkind Kyle Orton this weekend who didn’t even score 5 points.  Talk about rock bottom.  At least he got to keep the league’s trophy on his mantle to display the entire last year. 

 

 

Round 2 Preview

Championship Game – If We’re Using Logic vs. Fuck It Three

On paper, this could be a bloodbath.  South is favored handily but Chris has been rolling and is now looking for his 6^th straight win.  Chris may be doing voodoo dances on behalf of the KC defense, hoping for a bend but don’t break style that allows all of South’s Steelers to move down the field but get stopped and have to kick FGs.  It’ll be interesting to see who Chris puts in between his 4 mediocre QBs.  He had better choose wisely since Shady, Gronk and Beckham may not be able to cover up any wrong moves against a juggernaut like South.  They split the season series 1-1, so we’ll see if South can avenge the Toilet Bowl game loss from last year.  South wins 173.42-161.58.

 

Chris many many many moons ago

Hey, At Least I Might Get Some Money Out of This Game – Off Suit 10s vs. Smells Low

Kyle tries to atone for all of his shitty trades over the year and Riley tries to enjoy one last moment on the top half of the bracket before Manning is taken off in a stretcher and his team ages into retirement.  Kyle grabs the cash 136.47-128.84.

 

Without Smokin Jay, Kyle may need Johnny Interception

First Pick in Draft Game – Rollin’s 4 Deep vs. Ah It’s Early

This matchup should be interesting with all four QBs going against poor defenses but a tough match-up for each RB.  Each of these teams have at least 5 guys out for the year so it’s not like they have crazy depth either.  Seth won the first two matches this season, let’s see if he can hang on in the game that counts.  Seth gets #1 164-26-153.56.

 

Who Gives a Shit Game – I’m Out vs. Play It Backwards

Yahoo thinks this might actually be competitive but if $cam and Murray don’t play, Abel is in for a world of pain.  Mitch brings the pain 146.51-104.61.