Week 2 is in the books and we’re going to try and throw a quick power
rankings out there. We saw the whole
spectrum on the NFL gridiron this weekend from the Chiefs-Steelers TD-fest to
the Cardinals getting only 5 first downs.
The same was seen in CNK with Kyle topping 2 bills and the Riley/Abel
tandem struggling for half of that. 2018
is shaping up to be a weird year as only 1 team in league history has averaged
170+ over the season and right now 5 are at that mark. It’s not a proper sample size yet but you know
what they say about statistics, they’re stupid.
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| The NFL has been anything but boring so far this season. |
And now, like looking at a picture of Abel from high school, here’s a
slimmed down version…
1. Off Suit 10s – Well this is no longer just a
token spot for Kyle as he posted the 7th highest point total ever on
his way to 2-0. He could’ve made a run
at the all-time record if he would’ve played Watson and Agholor but destroying
Lansink’s hopes and dreams is all Kyle is ever really after. Kyle also gets to take home the weekly payout
prize of having the week’s best D. Chris’s
sister would disagree but Seth isn’t going to get the prize two weeks in a
row.
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| Lehman and Fitz are on a different level right now. |
2.
Rollin’ 4 Deep – Finken posts another solid
effort as all of his starters posted 15+ and improves to 2-0. With Bell still on vacation in Miami and
Freeman hobbled, he all the sudden has numerous options on the RB front. At least our albino friend can take solace in
fantasy success this season since his Huskers are clearly on their way to a 4-7
season. #FrostOnTheHotSeat
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| Frost might have the Eli face at this point. |
3-5. Play
It Backwards/Ah It’s Early/Fuck It Three – These three teams all have the same
record, almost the same points and solid/deep rosters despite South’s injury STD. Mitch beat Seth Week 1, then lost to Seth,
and South and Seth play next week so we’ll have a clearer picture on where they
stand. It’ll be interesting to see which
piece of the ménage-a-troi will be left with his dick in his hand come playoff
time.
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| Seriously, no rankings for these three??? Unbelievable. |
6.
If We’re Using Logic – In Week 1, Lansink had to
rely on Abel Abeling. This week he
didn’t even have a chance, unlike Seth with his sister. And it’s not going to get any easier with
Finken, Mitch, Seth and South in the next 4 weeks. Heck, he may even want to pull a Vontae Davis
and retire around 4pm next week if he’s getting another Shady McCoy level
whoopin’. It’ll save himself some
embarrassment but at least he’s almost ready to apply for Medicare and Social
Security.
 |
| Almost time for nap and Matlock for Chris. |
7-8. I’m Out/Smells Low – We’re approaching “who
cares” territory…
Hot Take Trade Analysis – Smells Low received Agholor and Kittle, Off
Suit 10s received Darnold and a 2019 3rd
Overall this seems
like a very reasonable trade. But you
know what wasn’t reasonable? When the
alert was sent out. Some people keep
their phone next to their bed and don’t appreciate being woken up at 5:13 am on
a mid-level trade that doesn’t affect them.
Let’s try and keep the pre-6:30am texting to a minimum.
Back to the
analysis. Riley, outside of a
rhinoplasty doctor, needed some depth at WR and TE. Kyle needed some mid-round draft capital and
more than 2 QBs in a 2 QB league. A rare
trade that no one can really complain about.
As a bonus, Mitch didn’t even end up with an extra 1st round
pick out of it. Everyone wins.
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