Season 6 - Week 4

Week 4 is in the books and we are now witnessing some historic scoring in the NFL and the CNKs.  In the previous 5 years of this league, we’ve never had more than three 200-point games.  So far thru 4 weeks, we’re at 4 with no end in sight.  The penalty rules have made the QBs more untouchable than a drunk Christine Blasey Ford.  This scoring has made for some amazing blowouts and some very competitive matchups.  This week we had 2 wins by 70+ points and 2 that came down to the 4^th quarter of MNF.  This week we have 2 huge games between the top 4 teams in the standings.  But the main drama is down at the bottom where our lovable losers are each trying to get their first win.  Good luck boys.

And now on with the Power Rankings…

1.       Off Suit 10s – No Cam and McCaffery?  No problem for our resident RV salesman to close that deal.  Kyle put up the 12^th best total in league history and his 2^nd 200 point game of the season, which results in a weekly scoring average of almost 185.  Watson led the way but his whole roster overachieved to pave the way to 4-0.  Kyle has truly transformed from surprise champion to legit powerhouse.  This is a testament to his prowess at drafting, which has always been good.  He’s just now learned to hang onto those guys. 

We stack them up and Kyle just keeps knocking them down.

2.       Play It Backwards – Mitch must’ve been a little worried going into his matchup with Lazer and having Alex Smith on a bye.  He smartly chose to forego Mariota and insert the Trubiskinator against a Bucs D that’s as bad as Riley’s Algebra II grades.  This resulted in almost a 50-spot being laid, most of which was done before Chris switched over from Matlock.  Kamara then came in and finished the afternoon off with 3 TDs.  It was good enough for 9^th best all time, which doesn’t even include three 30-point efforts left on the bench.  He’ll need all of that next week against Lehman’s juggernaut back at full strength and a true battle for top dog in our circle of friends (of course, outside of the pitch standings which is the true test of a person’s meddle).

Along with Kyle, Mitch could be running away with this league.

3.       Ah It’s Early – Nuke and Gordon set the tone and then Mahomes came in Monday night to finish off Abel the way Seth usually finishes off the night with Lansink’s sister.  After an opening loss to Mitch, Seth has reeled off 3 straight victories and looks to keep it rolling against his brother-in-law next week.  Mahomes has another tough matchup in Jax but that won’t stop him from being favored.  Chris will try and stop AIE from getting to 4 wins before Seth puts #4 in his sister’s belly.

Seth at the thought of preparing for #4

4.       If We’re Using Logic – Lazer should feel pretty good about the effort he put forth against Mitch.  He tried his best and gave it his all but sadly the 3^rd highest points of the week was only good enough for a big, fat L.  Don’t feel too bad for him though as he did the same thing to Finken last week who would’ve won a matchup against any other team (not that one of us is bitter…).  Julio may never score again but as long as Ryan keeps throwing multiple TDs to Ridley, Lazer will be in every game.  Chris will be at full strength against Den’s true son and he’s getting Ingram back from suspension.  But with an ailing Gronk and ineffective ODBag, it’ll be a coin flip between fantasy scores and receding hairlines. 

Chris may need to take some flopping lessons from Seth for his JV squad.

5.       Rollin 4 Deep – After a hot start to the year, Finken’s team appears to be fading much like his Huskers.  His point totals continue to decrease and he’s now lost 2 in a row.  Zeke and Barkley can only carry a team with 5 guys in single digits so far.  Now news comes down that Bell is coming back and Conner will be worthless for the stretch run.  It’s looking more and more like Finken will be sitting at home come December again, just like Scott Frost.

First Nebraska, now Finken's fantasy team...this season sucks.

6.       Fuck It Three – Everyone knows about Southy luck.  Well, we all thought that might be coming to an end this year with all of the injuries and self-inflicted vacations from football.  He even left huge points on the bench this week from Kupp, Luck and Green Bay’s D that would’ve sealed the victory over Riley.  But towards the end of MNF when Keenum’s pass just sailed over DT’s fingertips that would’ve given South the loss, reports out of Denver were that a sudden, candy scented breeze from the northeast was the culprit.  We’re sure there’s no correlation there at all and now Garret gets his Abel bye week with news that Bell will be reporting soon.  As always, things are still looking up for Garrett.

We all knew there was something about Big Ben.

7.       Smells Low – You mean you’re weekly point totals right?

Go get 'em Riley....get that first win.

8.       I’m Out – Haven’t seen this many males in single digits outside of a priest’s bedroom for quite some time.  I’m Out…yes you are…

Hot Take Trade Analysis – Riley gets Ronald Jones and a 2^nd, South gets Mike Gesicki and a 3^rd

South offered Jones to about everyone in the league for nothing more than a ham sandwich (no mayo either) and Riley finally bit after injuries to most of his RBs.  Abel’s 2^nd rounder is probably the best asset in the trade as it’s for sure to be a top 10 pick and now Riley’s looking good with 3 of them at the next draft.  Gesicki is a wait and see for South hoping that we’ll come on strong as Kelce fades away in a few years.  And always as a bonus, Mitch didn’t end up with an extra 1^st out of the deal. 

Good trade everybody.