Fuck It Three defeats Play It Backwards 200.24-183.42
South faced someone other than Lansink in the playoffs so we
anticipated things falling into place for him.
The matchup played out much like we predicted, a high scoring affair
with Southy winning by about 20. Lamar
got everything going early on Thursday night destroying the Jets while
Tyreeeeek, Chubb and Kelce built the lead on Sunday. Goff and Kupp then finished it off with an
18-point garbage time drive. Garrett
could have lost Dalvin Cook for next weekend so all is not roses. On the other hand, Mitch must be kicking
himself. His lineup was up to the
challenge but he gave into our goading and removed Drake from his lineup in
favor of Cohen. Tarik did alright but
Drake scored 4 TDs! Their point
differential was 24.1 while the game differential was 16.82. After strenuous calculations, we came to the
conclusion that Mitch shouldn’t have done what he did. Mitch, we tried to tell you which card to
play there…
Smells Low defeats Off Suit 10s 154.04-144.94
Last year, Kyle dominated the league scoring the most points but lost
in the first round of the playoffs by almost 10 points. This year, Kyle had the most points, best
record and #1 seed. He chose Riley as
the weakest opponent (which was correct by the way), but then laid an egg and
again lost in the first round by about 10 points. Kyle had flashbacks of the Rose bowl while
McCaffrey dazzled against the Seahawks and even Gurley showed up. Then Edelman got hurt and Gallup, Freeman,
and Thielen all shat the bed. He really
didn’t have any better options on his bench that would’ve been better plays. It was a total team effort to screw this one
up. If he’s a glass half full guy, he
could say that he wouldn’t’ve beat any other team except Lazer and when it
comes down to it, probably all Lehman really cares about is being better than
Lazer. So…bravo I guess? Riley got just enough from his main guys and
made the right call again putting McLaurin in the flex spot. His near-optimized lineup in such a crucial
situation earned him his first trip to the finals. This improbably rise from the basement last
year to the title game this year is akin to South and Lansink’s rise in Year
2. However, it has yet to be seen if this was just a fluke or if Riley can sustain this into future years.
 |
| Highly doubtful. |
Consolation Bracket
I’m Out takes a 40.8 point lead over If We’re Using Logic for the
battle of the #1 seed. Abel basically
maximized his roster output should be favored again this week to have the
hammer come draft time for the 2nd year in a row. Abel was motivated after seeing how much
Busch Light was delivered to Orlando for Iowa State’s bowl game. He’s vowed to do the same for our hotel room
in Vegas if he is victorious in his quest for pick #1.
 |
| Probably was Abel's pantry looks like too. |
Rollin’ 4 Deep takes exactly a 100 point lead over Ah It’s Early in the
3rd pick matchup. Everything
came together as only one of his starters failed to crack 19 points and Finken
was only 0.07 points away from the all-time high score. Too bad he couldn’t spread some of those
points out across his last couple weeks and done his damage in the playoffs
rather than in a game more meaningless than Nebraska football in his post-high
school days.
 |
| Finken realizing his plan worked perfectly except the minor detail of "making the playoffs." |
Championship Preview
This will be Garrett’s 4th title game appearance in 6
playoff appearances but only an empty trophy case to show for it. While he lost to the #StatCorrectionChamp
last year, 3 of his other playoff losses have all come at the hands of
Lansink. Riley doesn’t have that loser’s
stigma in the title game (which is probably because he’s never made it that
far) so he should come out guns blazing with established names like Raheem
Mostert and Terry McLaurin. In fact,
Riley has all the confidence in the world.
Not only enough to drive the van he does or wear the hats he does, but
he did beat South in Week 14 in order to make the playoffs.
There aren’t any glaring matchup nightmares on either side, and South
losing Cook is mostly offset by Riley losing Godwin. It will probably come down to starting the
correct flex options, of which South has far superior options. The one thing we do know is that none of
their judgements will be clouded by alcohol or any other inebriants other than
the usual Skittles and Mountain Dew combo.
Maybe the rest of us should take note of the possibility that these two
teams made the title game because of their abstinence from these
neurotoxins. Maybe we should contemplate
removing these from our lives in order to excel further at fake football…
We’ll say FIT dominates and finally tastes sweet, sweet, sugary victory: 195-24-136.96
 |
| How we picture South's victory parade. |
B
Half of the league probably stopped paying attention but a Best Ball
champ will be named this weekend so we figured we’d check in on that. South, Riley, Jared and Seth didn’t make the
playoffs so they couldn’t care less and should be branded as terrible at
drafting. Mitch went 12-2 but then was bounced
in Round 1 by Finken 199.5-159.
Apparently Lamar and McCaffrey alone couldn’t keep his turbo-charged
team within the lines. In the other
bracket, all of Lehman’s QBs could not overcome the combined effort of Drake
and Julio and Lazer pulled off the victory 161-142. Lehman can’t even win when the computer plays
his cards for him.
 |
| How'd the weekend go Lehman? |
This leaves Finken and Lansink will face off in the title matchup. Like his high school jock straps, Finken’s
going to struggle filling his slots (mainly WR) with recent injuries to Godwin
and Jeffrey, and most his other key guys are facing tough defenses. Lansink’s squad is mostly healthy and facing
manageable opponents. We’ll say Lazer
wins his 4th title in our inaugural league 164.5-132.0.
 |
| Chris after winning the best ball league. |
And finally, your humble moderators would just like to take a second and say thank you to everyone in the league for making this a great time throughout another year. We wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope all your players get injured next year.
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