Round 1 is in the books and with it came scoring that we haven’t seen since Carol South was in high school. After nearly two months of sub-175 scoring (except Garrett), we got 6 teams to eclipse that total (or come very close). In fact, about the only teams to underperform were Riley and Abel. Maybe Abel was nervous for his first playoff run or maybe his bedroom performance anxiety was rearing its ugly head. Either way, we have to say goodbye to Jared after the briefest of title hopes. Garrett expectedly took care of him with ease by posting his 4th straight 200+ game and won by a margin higher than his glucose levels. It was the bloodbath we all saw coming.
In the other semifinal, Mitch did everything he could to hold off Finken, including fielding an illegal roster of 5 starting QBs after Brees was pronounced on Friday morning (which he still hasn’t remedied…6 days now…). Mitch knew he was in trouble Thursday night after Waller and Herbert put up 60. But it was the close-out TD by back-ups Pollard and McKissic to end each game that really put him over the top.
Finken had to sweat out the afternoon slate as Kyler lit up his Iggles and the Saints played catch-up to the Chiefs. Luckily for him, the old, washed-up QB Finken traded to Mitch before the season kept their offense in check and had to be replaced around the end-zone by the TD-stealing machine that is Taysom Hill. The other side of that trade…back-up RB, Tony Pollard. We’re sure that Mitch took that in stride.
Mitch seeing Pollard was going crazy...
Championship Preview – Fuck It Three vs. Rollin’ 4 Deep
As the saying goes, the cream always rises to the top. So it’s fitting that the two highest scoring teams made the title game (along with most handsome, most well-endowed, etc…we could go on). This will be Finken’s 3rd trip to the finals and South’s 5th (and 3rd straight). It’ll be a rematch from the 2018 title game where Finken narrowly bested Garrett after stat-correcting Lazer. #NeverForget Garrett will hope this rematch goes better than the only other rematch in the finals with Lansink back in 2015, who toppled him for his 2nd of 7 championships.
Now let’s take a look at the actual matchup. Garrett’s currently favored by 20+ and with the way his team’s been playing, it probably won’t be that close. But Diggs and Robinson are banged up and he’s got a few tough matchups in Cook and JJ against the Saints D. However, that didn’t stop Kelce or Hill from going off last week and now they get the Falcons at home. He also gets Chubb at full-staff against the Jets and is able to throw Bell in his lineup after the Chiefs replacement-level, gadget RB went down with an ankle sprain. If he doesn’t put up 200+ with that lineup, it’ll be a Christmas miracle.
Finken got lucky with a few big games from back-up RBs in round 1 and it may be tough to replicate that performance, especially if Zeke is back in the lineup who’s been worse than Finken in a 5K. Waller probably can’t repeat his effort last week and his QBs can only do so much. Finken’s ceiling is only so high when he’s relying on a bunch of WR2s and 3rd down RBs. And while there’s always a chance of something not working out for South, we’re betting this is another bloodbath. FIT – 194.25, R4D – 163.21
How many titles is South going to have?
3rd Place Preview – I’m Out vs. Play It Backwards
Congrats on a great season both of you. It’s been an amazing 4 months, especially for Abel. And now you get the opportunity to square off for $40 and the most forgettable finishing place in our league. (insert your own unchecked enthusiasm) Early word is that Mitch wants this one bad as he’s seeking a springboard of momentum into next year. That and the extra $40 is like half a bag of horse oats. That stuff ain’t cheap and he’s got a down payment on a stable to think about. We’ll say Mitch wins this weeks Who Cares Territory matchup. PIB – 174.8, IO – 161.24
The gameshow summary of this matchup.
1st Pick Match-Up Update
Lehman (and by Lehman, we mean Abel) has a 14 point lead as of now after posting his season-high point total of 190. However, the projections are showing Seth could easily make that up faster than he can talk Lansink’s sister into the sack. With a head coach finally figuring out that David Johnson is actually a WR in disguise and MaHomie facing a soft ATL D, Seth is set to rebound faster than round 2 with Lansink’s sister (2 sister jokes in as many sentences!) It shouldn’t take much as Kyle’s band of backups, misfits and has-beens is bound to disappoint. Prediction: Seth gets 1.1, Abel gets 1.2
The #1 pick and continued sister jokes, A-OK with us.
3rd Pick Match-up Update
Had he tried just a little harder this year (or maybe drafted just a little better), he would’ve outscored Mitch on the season, made the playoffs and be sitting in the finals now. But we’re sure leading Riley by 64 points in the 3rd pick game is just as good. With Swift and JTT picking up steam and Josh Allen shedding the Pats curse, Chris is looking like he’ll extend his lead just like Trump on election night. Riley can lobby for a recount all he wants but due to his poor math education in high school, he probably can’t count that high. Prediction: Chris gets 1.3, Riley gets 1.4
Come on Chris, this could've been yours again.
As always, and we think we can speak for everyone, we’re all
appreciative of all you guys for having fun with this league and giving us an
excuse to keep razzing everyone. Enjoy
the holidays with your family and then we get to start the countdown to
Vegas. Merry Christmas!!!
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| May all your stockings be filled happiness and joy and... |
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