Season 13 - Playoff Preview

Week 14 is in the books and that means we have come to the end of the regular fantasy football season.  We hope everyone had an enjoyable season.  Your humble moderators don’t share that sentiment though and feel like this fake football season was very bad….and likely rigged.  It’s the only explanation of what happened to our BELOVED TEAMS.  We had beautiful rosters.  BEAUTIFUL!!!  Everyone knows they were the BEST rosters.  Many people said so.  Smart people.  In fact, we’re not even going to recognize this postseason.  It’s a SHAM.  A hoax by the Democrats.  Joe Biden caused this to happen, this wasn’t our fault.  And if you say any different, we’ll sue you. 

Trump investigating how Finken and South ended in this spot.

Anyway, before we get to the heart of the matter, let’s check in on the other leagues.  In the best ball league, Finken took home the regular season title with the best record and most points on the backs of Josh Allen, CMC and JSN.  Other playoff contenders are Lansink, Paul and Riley.  It’s only a two week playoff here because no one cares or pays attention anyway.  Best ball is the porn dialogue of fantasy football leagues and the quicker you get to the climax, the better. 

Everyone checking in on best ball for the  playoffs.

In the Guillotine league, Paul’s neck was chopped in Week 12 and Riley got his nose shaved in Week 13.  Lansink remains the only surviving member of the CNK.  He’s battling an old college foe in Warmbier.  It’s always hilarious looking at the final rosters of these leagues.  What an embarrassment of riches to choose from.  It’s pretty sad that none of you fools could’ve held on longer given all these great players.  At least your humble moderators were smart enough to bail out when we had no better options.

Everyone once they get chopped.

But enough of that.  Let’s get back to the dynasty league.  Our last week was somewhat uneventful because the four contenders had already punched their tickets to the dance.  But before we preview the meaningful matchups, let’s take a look at the loser’s bracket.  As a reminder, the format is all four teams will play a round-robin tournament.  Worst record will buy the food and second to worst will buy drinks (points as the tiebreaker).  Here are the participants in next year’s draft order as that’s now set as well: 1) Paul, 2) Finken, 3) Mitch and 4) South.  Better start studying the 2026 draft class boys.  We’re sure it’ll be a doozy and get you all right back in contention…

The only item left to figure out was who would grab the #1 seed.  Lazer had a substantial points lead but trailed Riley by a single win.  All Riley had to do was keep his nose clean against Finken and grab a median score W (which ended up only being 136!).  What Riley didn’t check when he made his all-in acquisitions was that the 49ers had a Week 14 bye so CMC, Kittle and Purdy were left resting on the bench.  Still he had a chance with Hurts going on MNF.  All he needed were a few tush-push TDs and for Hurts to ignore AJ Brown (as he’s done all year) and he was golden.  Sadly for him, in that game, the football turned into a game of hot potato as Hurts continually gave the ball away and crushed Riley’s and the Eagles shot at the #1 seed this year. 

Riley watching MNF scouting the #1 seed choice.

So that left the #1 seed and the Sophie’s choice for Chris.  Would he choose the most formidable adversary and try to beat him over a 2 week stretch?  Or he could go after his own kin, or his mortal frenemy, no good options.  In the end, he wanted no part of Riley’s juggernaut, nor Lehman’s squad after taking two beatings from him already this season.  He chose Seth. 

So instead of Power Rankings, this week you get a Playoff Preview along with gambling advice since everything is sponsored by casinos nowadays and everything must have odds.

 

If We’re Using Logic vs. Ah It’s Early

Chris chose Den’s favorite son to battle to try and move up in the Lansink family standings.  While Lazer scored by far the most points this season, his roster is not without concerns heading to the title pursuit.  Chase was more productive with Flacco’s elite arm tossing it downfield.  CD might still be in concussion protocol which would give Seth the Pickens boost.  Swift has been more up and down than Seth on a Saturday night. And lastly, JT finished the season as the #2 RB in scoring but has a tough schedule and may have old man Rivers as his QB.  Those Ds won’t be ignoring the running game with someone Chris’s age back there trying to sling the rock.

Rivers/Lazer still out there making plays.

AIE may not be overly intimidating or explosive, but just like Seth on a pickleball court or climbing a mountain side, they’ll sneak up on you.  Barkley and his stable to mid-tier RBs all have some easy match-ups and if his Chiefs can get in a shoot-out with the Chargers and Titans, he may be in business.  And if there’s one thing Seth knows how to do, it’s get down to business.  You might as well call him President Business. 

Chris doesn't want to know what Seth calls the Kragle...

We’re going to set the betting line at Chris -22 and over/under at 675.  (Editor’s Note: this was before Pitts went nuclear so…)  Heavy action has been on Seth to cover and the under.  However, insiders are siding with Lansink.  We feel the same, take Chris and the points to cover and the under of 0.5 times that Cara let’s South in her house anymore during Christmas time.

 

Smells Low vs. Off Suit 10s

Riley is the betting favorite as of now based on Sleeper’s ridiculous points projections, which I’m sure were put together by Mitch’s “Math for dumb kids” classes.  There’s a lot of green in his matchups and a couple of his key guys look to be in for big time shoot-outs this weekend.  He’s got so much depth available (and not just in the nasal dept) that he’ll need to sniff out the right flex options.  How does he leave Egbuka, Breece, McLaurin and Zay Flowers on the bench?  He’s rightfully sitting Hurts down after that embarrassing performance that kept Riley out of the #1 spot.  That’s just good coaching right there.

Hurts after letting down Riley last week.

Don’t discount Kyle though, only a slight underdog as of now.  Bijan should run wild and JSN will continue to be a target vacuum.  But what the projections can’t see are the QBs he’s relying on.  Staking his fate to the likes of Jacoby Brissett, Shaduer Sanders and possibly Phillip Rivers is fitting though.  A guy who routinely bids 4 while claiming he has “a concept of a plan” will not be discouraged looking at that QB room.  Fortunately for him, he’s able to start one Trey McBride in the TE slot, which is like starting four average TEs.

Kyle surveying his QB room.

We’re going to set the betting line at Riley -28 and over/under at 648.  The early action has been on the over and Kyle to cover with a large contingent picking the former league champion him as the outright winner.  Word on the street is that bettors are relying on Kyle’s more significant playoff experience.  However, we at the power rankings feel as though what Riley lacks in experience he makes up for with heart and even Kyle won’t be able to wheel-and-deal his way onto the next round.