Week 9

Week 9 is in the books and there are only 5 weeks left.  It was an interesting week with the bottom 2 teams knocking off two contenders.  No games were really that close and all matchups were pretty much decided before Sunday night football even began.  At this point, the playoff picture is starting to come into focus.  There are 3 teams with at least a 2 game lead on the field and are primed to lock up a playoff berth in the next few weeks.  However there is no clear leader for the last spot and as we learned this past week, no one is safe on a weekly basis.  A few more upsets could easily turn the playoff picture face down, ass up.  Now, on with the rankings...


1. Smells Low - Riley goes down for the 2nd time this season.  But at least it's way fewer times than Eva has gone down on other dudes during the same time.  With Dion Lewis now out for the year and a bunch of his other regular starters looking shakier than Michael J Fox eating soup, Riley could be in for some trouble as he's got Fink, South and Lazer up next.  His matchups this week are all very favorable which should make him feel good going against Finken.  But just like Thai food; what feels good going in, doesn't always feel good coming out. 



I'm sure Riley won't miss this on a weekly basis.

2. Fuck It Three - It was tempting to elevate FIT over Riley this week as he's won 3 in a row and has the 2nd highest points.  But FIT lost his top two QBs again for some time and will have to scramble to hold his ranking.  A team starting Famous Jameis as it's top QB should not hold the #1 spot as the constitution dictates.  Antonio Brown somehow managed half a season's worth of yards from scrimmage without scoring a TD but Garrett has to be concerned with Big Ben out again.  Like a miracle four bid with Jack-6, it'll probably just work out somehow for South. 

 

Just another routine play for South.

3. Rollin' 4 Deep - R4D caught PiB on an off week but it wouldn't have mattered.  Even Mike Evans couldn't have dropped the win this week.  Coming off two losses, R4D could've challenged Lazer's year-high score from last week with a few roster adjustments as his whole lineup showed up this week.   Finken swept the season series against Mitch but now gets the #1 team coming to town whom he's already lost to once this year.  He'll need a max effort with all of his Chargers on bye.  He should probably just take a page out of his beloved Huskers cheating playbook.  The pretend refs of this pretend league probably won't get it right anyway.

Maybe Talib is why the refs blew the call in the NU game.

4. If We're Using Logic - Just like Seth has tarnished the Lansink family name, he has also now trashed the Lansink family pretend football team.  IWUL's double QB-WR stack didn't overwhelm this week and Gronk was held mostly in check.  It may have been bad karma from what his D did to poor President Theodore Bridgewater.  Or it could've been the fact that he started a 2nd TE over a probable-Super-Bowl-MVP-for-the-next-decade WR in Jordan Matthews (just like Freddie Mitchel, right Finken?).  Things won't get any easier with Lehman up next and Atlanta on bye.  No Matty/Jones combo for Chris but at least no Freeman for Kyle.  Chris, maybe you should suggest to Kyle which RB you'd like him to play.

Chris always takes a loss well.

5. Off Suit 10s - This was Kyle's chance to grab ahold of pole position for the last playoff spot with Chris going down and the chance to knock him down again this week.  However, he Manziel'd that down his leg by playing Hillman over Sammy Watkins.  He makes that one adjustment and Kyle's giddier than Riley opening up his Grindr app.  But instead he got swept by FIT this season and is now one of five teams fighting for the last playoff spot.  It'll be a great matchup against IWUL as these hated rivals fight to stay alive.  But while their teams fight on the virtual field, they will sit nestled together in Kinnick sharing a blanket and hot cocoa thermos watching a bunch dudes in tight spandex gettin' gay with each other. 

Lehman and his QB trying to formulate a gameplan each week.

6. I'm Out - Alright Abel, here's your due.  You managed to not bench your players all the way to high points and #6 in the rankings.  IO has now beaten the top 2 teams in the league (and Seth) which is more than any other team can say.  Too bad he has to play all of the other games too.  Another winnable match-up this week against Seth could have IO sky-rocketing even higher and get a decent seeding in the #1 pick bracket.  See kids, dreams can come true!  We would just like to point out that for 2 of your victories, on the prior Wednesday, you managed to get together with a majority of the managers in this league and play some cards.  I'm sure that's not a coincidence. 

Here's Abel dancing around Riley's team.

7. Ah It's Early - Seth did to one Lansink what he does to another Lansink on a nightly basis.  It just happened to both on Sunday.  Seth used his Red Rocket (and Eifert) to take down Lazer and get himself out of the basement of the league.  Abel is up this week and a winning streak is mathematically possible.  The matchup this week will come down to who can break a pattern first.  In the last 6 weeks, AIE has gone LWLWLW.  All season, I'm Out has gone LLWLLWLLW.  Both teams can't lose this game right?

The likely result of this next game between Seth and Abel.

8. Play it Backwards - Our inaugural champion has now lost 2 in a row and sits at the bottom of the rankings.  His excuse will be that he had a ton of guys on bye and had to start Matt Cassell.  The sad part is that Cassell was his lone bright spot and only two other starters scored over 10 points.  At least he knew he was in trouble early as his three Bengals played like...well, Bengals historically do.  Back to full strength, PiB will look to regroup against his Luther buddy FIT.  Early projections indicate that he'll need to outperform expectations if he doesn't want to end up just another trophy on South's wall.

Ummmm, I'm Mitch's team's savior?