Week 8

Alright boys, Week 8 is in the books.  The top spot and bottom of the league look pretty much the same but the other 3 playoffs spots are totally up in the air.  There were a ton of points scored this week, in the matchups and on the bench (more on that in a minute).  There's a few interesting matchups this week since 6 teams are on bye and a bunch of key guys are injured.  With only 6 weeks left, those middle teams had better stop dicking around and make their move.  But for now, on with the rankings.



Four teams will soon get an early start on their golf game.

 

1. Smells Low - Riley continues to take care of business again with a solid overall performance against the man who claims to have taught him all he knows.  He's now won 4 in a row to get to 7-1 and gets one more cakewalk this week (Abel, obviously) before he takes on the meat of his schedule.  Since Riley's no stranger to taking on the meat, his #1 ranking shouldn't be in jeopardy.  This will be a special week as he will have to start Peyton due to Elite Joe being on a bye.  Since we're in Iowa, it's fitting that Riley has let Eva branch out to find adequate satisfaction so he can go public with Peyton.  Be who you are Riley. 

Riley running over the league this year.

2. Fuck It Three - As usual, South was luckier than a turd burglar stumbling across a shit show this week.  Like the Cowboys choosing a QB, he didn't make great lineup choices but it all worked out because he was playing Seth.  His line-up was middle-of-the-road but would've gotten destroyed by his bench, which put up 175.  FI3 made it through a good chunk of the season without Big Ben but now Bell and Steve Smith are done for the season...and he's got a ton of bye weeks to deal with...and OS10s coming to town....and then there's the herpes thing.  Add in the brink of terribleness that Andrew Luck is living on, now that  sounds like a recipe for turd soup.

Garrett will have no more of this...

or this...

 

3. If We're Using Logic - Way to shoot your wad against Abel.  IWUL had lost 4 in a row and was colder than Indianola's playoff record.  They hadn't scored over 145 in any of those weeks.  But this week, Chris's team woke up and was hotter than a whore house on nickel night as they scored almost 220 thanks mainly to the Bucs and Saints horrible D.  IWUL's stack of Matty Ice-Julio and Eli-ODB were deadly as the 4 of them scored as much as Abel's whole roster.  Now Chris turns his attention to Seth as he hopes to do to him what Seth does to his sister each night.

I demand Lazer do this dance if he wins the league again.

4. Off Suit 10s - OS10s avenged the early season loss to R4D.  We're sure Kyle purposely used the 3 guys that Finken traded to him to take down their former team.  OS10s has been rolling in 4 of his last 5 but now there's a step up in competition as South and Lazer show up on the schedule.  Plus Palmer, Fitz and Forsett are all out on bye this week.  Just like in the bedroom, Kyle is in need of a little more depth if he's going to make a real late-season push. 

Based on the past few weeks, Kyle finally broke out his...

5. Rollin 4 Deep - Well, it was an unfortunate loss by Finken to Kyle, let move on...

No, there will be no moving on.

 

Oh wait, R4D decided to leave Brees (and Cooks) on the bench in favor of Tannehill and Miller against the Pats.  Brees had himself a season throwing 7 TDs (8 actually if you count the pick six) and Cooks caught 2 of those.  Together, they scored over 80 points.  Tannehill and Miller combined for 24.  I didn't learn math at Bondurant but I'm guessing that would've helped this week.  A depleted Mitch is up next for R4D, he'd better not whiff this week or his playoff push could slip right through his hands.

Whoops, there goes your win Finken.

6. Play It Backwards - PIB fielded a solid lineup this week but wasn't nearly enough to take down the #1 team.  Mitch is still not out of the playoff picture if his team gets hot but it's going to be an uphill battle this week against Finken with Seattle and Detroit on bye (which make up half of his roster).  Since he doesn't have any back-ups on his roster, he'll have to go D and tight end hunting.  Sounds like a random Thursday night for Riley.

Mitch finally has an excuse to bench Kap.

Last - Ah It's Early/I'm Out - Seth had a shot against South but left Carr and the Texans D on the bench.  Abel had a solid week all around but ran into the Disco Ball Buzzsaw.  These two last place teams play the two top scoring teams this week.  We're guessing these bottoms will probably get pounded by Lazer and Riley as they're known to do.

Seth and Abel are the Shane Lechler of our league.