Season 4 - Week 14 & Playoff Preview

Week 14 is in the books and that means that our Season 4 regular season has come to a close.  The playoff field has a familiar smell to it this year with Lansink and South making their 3^rd consecutive run at the title after finishing as the bottoms of the league for Year 1.  Finken is returning for his 2^nd straight trip to the playoffs while, instead of Riley usually sticking his nose into the middle of things, Seth’s stank ass made his 1^st appearance since finishing runner up in our inaugural season. 

 

Since South dispatched with Kyle before the early games were over on Sunday, the intrigue had nothing to do with draft order because Mitch had already sealed up the first 4 picks in the draft.  No, we were left watching MNF to see who would be required to provide food and drink at our murder luxury cabin this summer.  Mitch had pole position with a 30 point deficit to start the weekend but made up ground quickly as Riley and Abel failed to break 90 after SNF.  Going into MNF, they were all within a few points of each other but Abel was favored to be the guy based off of Yahoo’s projections.  Brady did what Brady does and prevented Riley from buying Trump Steaks on a beekeepers salary while Blount and Wallace provided a decent cushion for Abel as the game wore on.  It looks like Heidi will be a sugar momma for all of us come June.

 

Amazingly enough, all 4 of the 1^st round matchups were season sweeps during the regular season.  Beating a team 3 teams over the course of a season is a pretty tall order (unless you’re playing Mitch), so don’t get your brooms out yet.  Before we get to the Playoff Previews, though, let’s put a pin in the regular season and get on with the rankings…

 

1. Ah It’s Early – Seth had a chance at history and promptly crapped it down his leg for his first bad outing of the season.  Not a bad time to have it happen in a meaningless game but he had better hope it doesn’t continue into the first round.  With Carr and Stafford playing through injured hands and Dak struggling, Seth is praying that Gordon is faking his injury just like every soccer player who gets brushed in the shin.
   

   

   
   
2. Rollin’ 4 Deep – After a slow 1-3 start, Finken only lost 1 other game during the season and has now won 6 straight.  Losing AP early hurt but luckily EE defied the rookie RB stigma and let the Cowboys line do their thing.  If R4D can avoid more poor roster management and his QB combo gets rolling. he’ll be a scary matchup during the playoffs.
   

   

   Will Finken finally get a rose in the playoffs instead of a turd sandwich?

    
3. If We’re Using Logic – Just like his fellow Drake alum, Chris started the season slow but finished strong as well.  IWUL ended up posting the 2^nd highest points in the league and had some bad luck along the way, losing 2 games by margins smaller than his elementary participation trophies.  He didn’t deserve to lose those games just like he never misplays at cards.  He’ll tell you, just ask him.
   

   

   Break out the disco ball, moonwalking to a 3peat.

    
4. Fuck It Three – Bell alone could have nearly beaten Kyle this week, and is in a prime position to do damage going forward.  RapeTheBurger continued his horrid play away from Pittsburgh, but FIT didn’t need much help as it seemed as though Kyle actually wanted to pay Chris the $20.
   

   

   Guaranteed not to lose to Chris this year....yet.

    
5. Off Suit 10s – Hey guys, ‘member that time in every Power Rankings where we said Kyle’s team wasn’t really that good and it would eventually catch up with him?  It’s tough to play against the lowest score of the week when you are the lowest score of the week.
   

   

   Now we can all see the real Off Suit 10s

    
6. Smells Low – Riley made the best of a bad situation this year.  Brady was suspended for 4 games, Lynch retired, CJ Anderson got hurt, Freeman didn’t score 3 TDs per game, and he doesn’t have a WR that would start on the Indianola varsity squad.  At least he’s got a draft pick before round 4 this year (as of now).
   

   

   Fuck, I have to be on Riley's shit team next year too?

    
7. I’m Out – We don’t know where to start with Abel.  Let’s gloss over the fact that he’s not using his IR spots or that he’s got multiple guys on his roster that have no business being on a roster.  When did CJ Spiller last play football?  2011?   No, let’s look at his WW activity this year.  So far Jared’s made 15 transactions and 4 of these have been to change Ks.  Coincidentally he was the only guy to start a player on Bye, his K in Week 11.  Jared’s also only used $50 in FAAB and has $100 remaining.  $40 to pick up Brock Osweiler and $10 to grab Mike Wallace.  No other bids on a single player the rest of the season.  And we all wonder why Abel’s the only team yet to reach the playoffs in 4 seasons.  At least he’s got his 4^th round draft pick to look forward to this offseason.
   

    

   

   
   
8. Play It Backwards – Our resident draft pick hoarder didn’t quite pull off the miracle of playing bad enough to secure the first four picks but not so bad that Heidi isn’t forced to buy everyone food in June.  He made some interesting roster moves over the course of the season but has a lot of lottery tickets that could all hit paydirt going forward. 

Basically Mitch's entire season.

 

 

Round 1 Playoff Preview

 

Ah It’s Early vs. Fuck It Three – The last battle between AIE and FIT was a high scoring affair with Seth claiming the victory.  However, Seth could be in some trouble as Gordon and Forte could be sitting out this week.  Additionally, the last time Jordy faced the Bears, he torched them for 1.9 fantasy points.  Seth and Garrett each have one of the two most dynamic players in all of fantasy land, so if either of them explodes for a 50-point performance, it’ll spell doom for the other.  This matchup will likely come down to 2 metrics: TE play and the Cooper/Crabtree target share.  If either team wins both, they’ll likely be the winner.  One intriguing play to watch will be that of Jamison Crowder.  If he has a good game, it may quiet the doubters throughout the offseason.  Look for FIT to avoid the sweep in this one and make his third straight finals appearance.  FIT 164.32 – AIE 156.44

 

Rollin’ 4 Deep vs. If We’re Using Logic – Finken won the first matchup of the year handily but squeaked by the 2^nd time by less than 0.4.  As you can imagine, Chris was more upset than when he learned that Seth slipped one past his sister’s goalie for a 3^rd time.  Chris may not be favored but probably should be if Julio plays based on some very favorable matchups all across his offense.  He’s got more green on his roster than he had in his wallet pre-kids.  Without Gronk, he’ll be looking to fill his tight end with the best option available, much like his fraternity days.  Finken on the other hand, may have peaked a bit too early.  His QBs, who thrive at home, both have road games and much like his own weekends full of frat parties, his best Flex options have some tough Ds coming at their face.  Lansink won last year’s 1^st round matchup against Finken easily and probably will here again if Julio plays as he takes one step closer to the elusive 3peat®™.  IWUL 168.42, R4D 143.29

The old frat bros are going to be digging deep for this victory.

 

Off Suit 10s vs. Smells Low – Nobody really cares who wins this since both of these teams were bad but not bad enough to laugh at.  Besides, Mitch owns both of their 1^st round picks anyway.  So this is basically a matchup to determine who’s pick Mitch gets to trade for an established player.  I hope you are both proud of yourselves.   

 

 

I’m Out vs. Play It Backwards – Mitch has waited all season for this moment.  He gave tanking a run last year but ended up with the 2^nd pick.  He tried in real life with the Indianola offense but he was just good enough not to get fired.  Now comes his time to shine.  You go get that draft pick Mitch.  It’s not like Abel’s team will put up much resistance.