Season 6 - Week 6

Week 6 is in the books and we’ve almost reached the halfway point of the year.  A few teams have separated themselves from the pack both at the top of the standings and the bottom.  Kyle is undefeated and the Riley-unAbel poo-poo platter is just…defeated.  The other 5 teams are in a fight for 3 playoff spots.  There’s still a lot of season left to sort this stuff out but clearly a few good teams are going to be left fighting for the 3^rd pick instead of trying to claim the title belt from Lehman.

It's still Lehman's world, we're just living in it.

Your humble moderators know that these rankings have been about as spotty as Abel’s card night attendance and next week will be no different.  But this is very delicate and scientific work that must be done with the right precision and care.  Plus we’re more lazy than you think and surfing the web at work is sometimes more important.  And now on with the rankings…

1.       Off Suit 10s – Credit where credit is due, Gurley Kyle just keeps on rolling.  OS10 is averaging 182 points per week and sits atop the standings at 6-0…a real nice surprise Clark.  He’s had a few close calls on the season but has also been fortunate to face the fewest points in the league when he hasn’t posted high points.  The general consensus is that Kyle’s team is just the Todd Gurley show but he’s chosen wisely to invest in $Cam, Watson, Thielen, McCaffrey and Boyd as well as tax-abated property in Adel.  Since we’re entering heavy bye and injury season where depth may come into play, imagine how good this team would be with Odell, Michael Thomas or any of the other studs that Lehman has dropped or traded away.

Kyle to every opponent in his way.

2.       Rollin’ 4 Deep – Barkley got R4D started off with a bang on Thursday night and the rest of the roster followed suit as he posted high points this week and slipped into 2^nd place.  While this helps Finken forget about the abortion that is Nebraska football right now, it may be short lived.  Rodgers and Conner are on a bye this week and with Bell coming back, Conner may go back to being a stash player for next year instead of putting up 30 points a week.  Fortunately for everyone else in the league, there isn’t a projected generational talent entering the league in 2019 so Finken doesn’t have a reason to tank for that #1 pick.

Like Finken, just not quite big enough to get up there.

3.       If We’re Using Logic – Earlier in the season, it looked like Chris might miss the playoffs for the first time in recent memory, which admittedly isn’t long nowadays.  He’s getting Ingram back which should solidify his RB depth and prevent him from having to rely on Heisman Trophy winning Derrick Henry or anyone on the Bills.  But he’s righted the ship after 2 wins and has his Abel and Riley byes up next that should push that total to 4 straight.  And at his age, Chris has only seen 4 straight when he pops that little blue pill. 

Lansink loses either of these next 2 and some wall isn't going to survive.

4.       Play It Backwards – Mitch always knew this week would be a tough win with the Saints on a bye and really no solid RB option to replace Kamara.  But had he had faith in his Bears and started the Trubiskinator and Cohen instead of Smith and Drake, he could’ve stayed right behind Lehman in a race for that #1 seed.  So now, just like his Indianola squad, he’s lost 2 in a row and trying to maintain pace for the playoffs.  And this week he gets the Riley Reclamation Project in which he figures to be favored by at least 30 points with a full roster intact.  One thing that will help Mitch going forward is abandoning the 6 TE plan.  Usually only South is keeping an eye on that many male tight ends. 

Maybe this kind of throwing motion from his QB is why Mitch is running his RBs into the ground.

5.       Ah It’s Early – Despite being known as The Long, AIE has come up short the past two weeks (but not to Chris’s sister), falling in close ones to Chris and Kyle.  Seth still has a good chance to make the playoffs at this point and could take a huge step in that direction this week against Finken without Rodgers.  AIE will also be without a numbers of players since the Raiders are on a bye but most of the Raiders have thought they were on bye for a few weeks now.  Seth does get the Cesaer Award this week because he keeps leaving Carr in his lineup.  Had he benched him for Dak, he would’ve handed Lehman his first loss and been sitting in 3^rd place.  We’re sure that won’t come back to haunt him, like letting Chris into his family.

Long, you really screwed that one up.

6.       Fuck It Three – Even with the loss this week, South is very lucky to still be in the playoff race.  With Bell sitting out, other numerous injuries and players like Diggs, Landry and Collins underwhelming (half the league is excited about the Collins trajectory), he should be sitting at the bottom of the standings with Riley and Abel.  But luckily he’s gotten 2 of those 3 wins against Riley and Abel to stay alive.  It won’t get any easier this week against Lehman’s juggernaut and Big Ben’s 4^th quarter heroics on bye.  We’ll see in 2 weeks if Bell really does show up and boost Garrett back into contender status or if he waits to Week 11 when it may be too late.  We’d typically say he’s probably screwed but as we all know, things just tend to work out for South.

I thought South just shits gold but procreating golf would make sense as well.

7.       Smells Low – All of Riley’s wheeling and dealing actually paid off and he was able to finally carve a notch in the victory column.  Oh wait, what was that?  He was facing Abel?  Nevermind, good job for just setting your lineup.  We do have to commend Riley for realizing the place his roster was in and being proactive about rebuilding for the future.  Not surprisingly, he’s been able to sniff out some good values in these trades and should be more competitive next year.  At least he has that to look forward to since he’ll be shoveling shit for the next few months.  Literally.  Abel, do you see what Riley is doing?

Nice win Riley but your team still sucks.

8.       I’m Out – Abel is the Scott Frost of the CNK…