Week 10 is in the books and it was an entertaining week with numerous
close games. Ironically, two matchups
were decided during the Cowboys-Vikings game and the other two were decided
during MNF. With four weeks remaining,
the playoff picture is starting to take shape.
Lehman and South are about locked for the top two spots. Mitch, Riley and Finken are the main
candidates for the remaining 2 playoffs spots.
And Abel, Chris and Seth are most likely jockeying for playoff
position. But there’s still time for any
team to make a move, for better or worse so no one had better rest on their
laurels (whatever that means.
And now, on with the rankings…
1.
Off Suit 10s – When the season started and Kyle
looked at his schedule, he knew Week 10 would be a tough one for him. With 9 players on bye, he figured he could
throw away that week and be in good shape the rest of the season. Then Week 10 arrives and his best WR
available was injured and it turns out the QB he just traded for broke some
bones in his back. He had to no choice
but to start the likes of Jeff Driskel, Zach Pascal and Alec Erickson. So it was no surprise when he put up 112 and
would’ve gotten smoked by 6 of the other teams in the league. But lucky for him, Finken was completely out
of trump. Naturally, his dogshit Jack-eight-four hand turned
into a 4 spot.
2.
Fuck It Three – After a horrible showing in Week
9 and a loss to Abel, South needed this win and got it by a margin smaller than
his teenage girl-sized shirts. Knocking
off Lazer allowed South to stay right up there with Kyle in a race for home
field through-out the whole playoffs. He
even accomplished the victory with a donut from Kupp and two TEs in the
lineup. He’ll need something stronger
this week if he hopes to stave off a bounce-back performance from Kyle in this
week’s potential title game preview. There
hasn’t been a matchup with this level of anticipation since Chris’s poker table
matched up against Caesar’s street as Chris peeled the F outta that wild and
crazy bachelor party.
3.
Play It Backwards – Like playing with his phone
on the interstate, Mitch has gone back and forth over the win/loss line the
past 6 weeks, alternating between victory and defeat. He’s lucky that Kyler and Thomas propped up
his team this week since he deciding to start both Saints RBs was about as good
of an idea as playing a King-deuce backwards.
But as his name being on the CNK trophy proves, though, sometimes it
pays to play it backwards. He’ll try and
bump the pattern this week with a JV Falcons RB in place of Adams against Finken’s
newly acquired ATL tandem. Instead of
trying it backwards again, Mitch may just want to play it safe and let Aiden
drive this weekend.
4.
Smells Low – Riley’s had an odd season. After winning 3 of 4, he’s now lost 3 of 4
when all his MNF players kept fumbling their chances away at catching up to
Mitch. He’s still sniffing the playoffs
because of his .500 record but he’s also last in the league in points scored,
which doesn’t bode well for the long run.
He should win this week against an Abel team without a number of key
players but should also have had a threesome with a couple lesbians by now…and
we all know that hasn’t happened either.
5.
Rollin’ 4 Deep – When Finken mortgaged his
future to acquire Julio and Ingram, he figured these additions would guarantee
a path to the playoffs and put him in good shape to repeat. Prior to Week 10, his team looked amazing on
paper and was projected to top 186. And
then Sunday rolled around and a catastrophe ensued that could only be described
as Nebraska-esque. His roster of
blue-chippers went out there and posted almost half of those projections and he
failed to break 100 for the 2nd time this year. Finken’s team is still in good shape to
qualify for the postseason with the 3rd most points and only one
game out. But he’s got to start winning,
something he won’t learn from watching his Huskers on a weekly basis.
6.
I’m Out – Maybe the team Finknasty really needs
to worry about is Abel. After starting
the season 1-5, Jared’s now won 3 of the last 4 and he’s scored almost 200 in
the past two games. He too is only one
win out of the 4th spot as of now.
He needs to keep winning and putting up some points as he’s still almost
last in the league in scoring. What
isn’t helping that is the 3 empty bench spots he’s been carrying for a
while. Abel, you realize the rosters are
now 28 spots deep if you’re using the redshirt spots (which you are)? We don’t think there’s a bonus after the
season for making under 5 roster transactions all season.
7.
If We’re Using Logic – Like Mitch recommending
that Lazer’s driver’s license be taken away, Chris finally admitted that father
time was catching up with his roster and he wasn’t going anywhere this
year. So he shipped off his last
remaining original draft picks and started the rebuild. He’s put his rebuild in Jeopardy though by
defeating Finken last week and nearly taking down South this week. If you’re going to do this Lazer, don’t allow
Henry to run all over your Chiefs. Be
more like ODBag. No not the DBag part,
you’ve got that down. Just start to suck
really badly.
8.
Ah It’s Early – Seth has now lost 6 straight
even with Mahomes, Dak and Amari lighting it up. As bad as he looks in the CNK standings this
year, Seth is still the man to one of Lansink’s sisters.
Hot Take Trade Analysis – Finken gets Julio, Ingram, Matty Ice, Gus
Edwards and 2021 2nd; Lazer gets Parris, Mecole, Royce, Kyle Allen
and 2020 and 2021 1sts
This trade works well for both sides.
Chris’s team was going nowhere fast so it makes sense to cash in on
Julio and Ingram before they really spiral downhill. He needs a youth movement and is getting 6
decent pieces to build around.
Finken has heard it from the haters all off-season about his
stat-correction title and is looking to legitimize his accomplishments by
repeating as champ. His team is poised
to win now and Julio, Ingram and Ryan all provide high-end depth for the
remainder of the regular season and into the playoffs. Now all he has to do it make it there which is looking dicier with every sub-100 performance.
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