It was blow-out city this week as three teams won by 40+ and most
matchups were over by the afternoon finales.
South and Kyle continued their winning ways by demolishing Seth and
Riley, respectively. They remain
deadlocked at 6-2 and just a few points between them. Mitch stayed in the 3rd spot with
a victory over Lazer. It was a
lackluster win and he needed all of those points from a newly acquired Murray
in the all-so-rare Abel trade. When
reached for comment Sunday evening about said trade, we think Chris was taking
it pretty well but could only make out…
We’ll find out if Mitch is for real next week against Lehman but we’re
not optimistic based on the bye schedule and injury/suspension situation for
PIB. Finken continued his astounding
climb out of the gutter vaulting himself into the 4th spot after his
3rd win in a row and his 2nd straight 200+ game. Despite a donut by Cooks, the rest of his
roster blew up and puts him right back in position to defend his
stat-correction title. Riley, Seth,
Chris all lost and continued their losing streaks because they’re losing loser
McLosers. There was really no Caesar
candidate this week because none of these losers had a chance because they’re
terrible at fake sports and most other things.
No one is mathematically eliminated yet but Chris and Abel’s playoffs
odds are about the same as the odds of Finken having a 3rd child.
Onto the Card Night Queens best ball league. I think we’d all agree that it’s been a fun
experiment, like that time Chris blew his wad on Nelson Agholor and immediately
put him in the starting lineup. Much
like sex, the first time is always a learning experience and going forward we’d
probably tinker with the starting positions and depth. It’d also be nice to use a platform that
actually worked during the draft, tracked points, records and generally worked
on any technology that was more updated than Seth’s former A/C unit. But that’s for another day, now let’s take a
look at our standings
- If We’re Using Logic – 6-2, 1,334 pts – Well
Chris at least has something to look forward to each weekend because we know
it’s not his dynasty team. Lazer’s
kin-folk of old-man QBs have been decent enough each week to hide his lack of
productive RBs. His WRs have all been
solid but unspectacular and Engram at TE has been good. But what’s really going to be responsible for
him winning this league is Belicheat and the Pats D’s soft schedule. We’ll see if that changes down the stretch
when they’re not facing the Jets, Dolphins, Redskins, Bills and Giants each
week.
2(t).Play
It Backwards – 7-1, 1,284 pts – Mitch has 4 real good QB options each week
after Cousins turned it on and Lamar has become the 2nd coming of
Vick. CMC is about all he needs at RB
each week but his luck at WR has been brutal.
AB has gone AWOL, AJ hasn’t taken the field yet and DeSean has played 1
game so far. That’s tough when you’re
starting 4 WRs and only have 5 options.
Luckily Diggs, ARob and DJ Moore have been consistently good the past
month. Mitch will have to hope the
Panthers continue to rely heavily on the game plan that he “leaked” to them
early in the season: run your undersized RB into the ground.
 |
| I'm ready for my 65 carries coach. |
2(t).Off
Suit 10s – 3-5, 1,284 pts – Kyle was the
man with a plan come draft time and we guess it’s kind of worked. Mahomies, Dak and Watson have been great so
he’s getting 2 above average QB outputs each week. However, Baker’s done nothing but cook up
turd sandwiches. Michel, Ingram and
McCoy have been decent at RB but what’s really boosted his total are the WR
stacks he drafted of Amari, Gallup and Nuke.
His TE has been a hole with Ertz fading but the Saints have been a good
choice for his only D. Even at 3 wins, Kyle
is already planning on how to spend Chris’s side-bet money.
4.
Fuck
It Three – 3-5, 1,245.5 pts – South has been in a tough spot at QB with $cam
hurt all year and Trubortlesky being not as good as his draftmates Watson or
Mahomies (right, Mitch?). Rodgers can only
do so much alone so it’s good that Bell and Cook have held down the RB spot
well and his WRs have been healthy and productive. Hooper has also surprised at TE and his two
Ds have been pretty good. Annie apparently
taught Garrett a thing or two about having at least two good Ds in your life.
5.
Ah It’s Early – 5-3, 1,224.5 pts – Like
South, Seth is in even worse shape at QB with Kyler being his only option
pretty much all season. Big Ben got hurt
right away and Mariota might as well have been.
Luckily his RBs have been good and he’s hoping Hunt will get some
traction once he’s back. His WRs are
downright great compared to most other rosters.
Tyreeeeek, Evans and Michael Thomas lead the way and Adams should be
healthy again soon. Hockenson and OJ
have murdered his TE spot and the Seattle D is average at best. So there’s no real hope for Seth, unlike when
he gives Chris’s sister that spicy look, but A+ for effort in WR drafting.
 |
| When Seth gets that feeling... |
6.
Rollin’ 4 Deep – 3-5, 1,141.5 pts – Finken’s
team has been healthy all year, he just drafted players akin to the Huskers
level of mediocrity. Darnold’s mono and
Jamies’s picks haven’t helped the QB scoring.
Zeke and Gurley have been decent but not all-worldly as expected. And unlike Godwin; ODBag, James Washington,
Jeffrey and Mike Williams have all failed to reach expectations. Kelce has been consistent all year which is
good because his other tight end was ruined back in his frat days.
7.
I’m Out – 3-5, 1,105.5 pts – Abel’s
team isn’t bad but losing Luck to retirement and Kamara/Brees for a good chunk
of the season is going to hurt. Also
drafting 6 RBs for 2 starting spots and 5 WRs for 4 starting spots is maybe not
ideal planning. At least there’s no FAAB
or waivers to worry about though.
 |
| Losing doesn't seem to bother Abel, just keep s rocking on. |
8.
Smells Low – 2-6, 1,034 pts – Having
Foles and Haskins as 2 of your 4 QBs has not set Riley up for success. Barkley and his other RBs have been decent
but his WRs are more of a tire-fire than his dynasty team at the beginning of
this year. Only Theilen, Landry and Boyd
could be called regular contributors.
The others either have been brutal or haven’t played at all. Kittle has been alright at TE but the Bears D
aren’t what they were last year. His name
forebodes his chances at cashing in this league.
 |
| Riley checking the best ball league all year. |
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