Week 9 is in the books and it’s been a while since we had ourselves a good, ole-fashion power rankings. The nation has now cleansed itself of Trump and you’d think that we used this break to drum up some new material and come with some fresh content after our break. But you’d be wrong. It’s still the same old format with the same old stale jokes. You get what you pay for and sadly for all of you, we can’t be ousted from office.
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| What?!?! We've made it thru most of the season without much of a problem?!?! |
Well we have ourselves an official season. We are 9 weeks in meaning there’s with only 5 left and rarely have we seen so much parity. Six teams are tied at 5-4 and most are within a reasonable amount of points of each other, except Kyle. But there’s clearly two tiers within this tie for first. South and Mitch have clearly separated themselves at this point and it’d be a shock if anyone else occupied the top seeds when all is said and done. As for the final two playoff spots, it wouldn’t surprise us at all to see just about any make it. Even Chris and Seth could easily make up ground.
But we won’t get ahead of ourselves at this point, still lots of time for anything to happen. And now, on with the rankings…
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| Time for the rankings, smoke'em if you got'em... |
1. Fuck It Three – After toying with us for a few weeks and seeming to
fall apart after 4 straight losses, Garrett is right back where he was meant to
be. FIT’s been on quite the roll the
past 2 weeks, posting 210+ and dominating his opponents like he dominated dudes
in spandex in college. His whole lineup
has been solid, especially Cook who has run roughshod over the league like an
Indianola RB getting 60 carries a game.
It’s good to see South is learning from his mistakes because based on
his decisions earlier in the season, he usually would have left that kind of
effort from Cook on the bench.
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| Southy's finally got this fantasy thing figured out. |
2. Play It Backwards – This one had to hurt. Mitch was rolling after 4 straight wins and
felt pretty good after Adams put up 33 on Thursday night. However, McCaffrey was back for Kyle to be
ran into the ground against him. And if
there’s one thing Mitch recognizes the value of, it’s riding an under-sized
white kid into the ground. Still, Mitch
had the chance to cruise to victory but he chose the wrong QB in the
Saints-Bucs game and paid the ultimate price.
He still looks to be one of the prohibitive favorites going forward now
that AB found a landing spot, Miles and Thomas are getting healthy, and Dobbins
is getting a bigger workload. The only
thing that could stop Mitch now is running into running into Valley or Dowling
in the playoffs.
3. Smells Low – Riley was among the favorites for the playoff run prior
to this week but things were getting dicey as the injury bug started to
bite. And then he went out and posted an
inexcusable loss to Seth. Ekeler, Godwin
and Jones are still banged up and Kittle could be done for the year. Unlike his nasal cavities, we wouldn’t
exactly call his team deep so we’ll have to see how the next few weeks go. Russ is going to have to do his best Gordon
Ramsey impression and keep cookin’ if Riley has any hope of staying in
contention. But that does mean Riley is
ready to hear all your trade offers again so make sure you send him at least 4
per day.
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| Riley looking thru the barrage of terrible trade offers he's about to get. |
4. Rollin’ 4 Deep – After getting swept on the season by Abel, Finken eeked
out a close one against Lazer this weekend despite all his disappointing RBs
posting single digits. He needed this
victory in order to stay in playoff contention as well as avoiding handing
Chris another top 3 pick. He’ll have to
navigate some tough byes this week without Zeke or Julio against Lehman,
although benching Zeke might be necessary at this point. Fortunately for R4D, he’s not the current top
seed so Kyle’s dumpster fire probably won’t spread to House Finken.
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| Anything will be better than what Nebraska's shown so far this year. |
5. I’m Out – Despite having the 3rd lowest point total and
facing the most points on the year, Abel remains right in the hunt for the
playoffs. Checking the archives of the
PRs, never before has Abel been this high in the rankings this late in the
season (probably, we didn’t actually look).
He didn’t have a chance against South this weekend but needs to beat
Seth this coming weekend if he wants to keep pace. He’s the early favorite for the win but Seth
is no stranger to coming from behind....in weight loss challenges. Geez people...
6. Off Suit 10s – So the worst team in the league is now openly
admitting to starting an inferior lineup just so he can watch his crappy
players on TV. We’d normally intimate
that’s not in the spirit of the integrity of the league and that he’s openingly
tanking for draft spot. However, since
Kyle has no draft capital, we’re going to let it slide. But if something fishy happens with that 6th
round pick of his, we’re calling BS. Kyle
finally scored over 150 (first time in 4 weeks) and took an easy $5 off Chris
betting on CMC. We can’t wait to get a
text late some evening showing the McGangbangs Kyle bought with Chris’s
money.
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| Kyle rolling around in Chris's money. |
7. It We’re Using Logic – Chris put up his usual 155 (almost exactly 3
of the last 4 weeks) but it wasn’t enough against Finken and now he’s lost 6 of
the last 7. Not exactly what Chris had
in mind after the offseason of a lifetime.
And let the record show that the only team he’s beat in that span was
Kyle, who has been reported to be the worst team in the league. His rookies have been about as disappointing as
Brian Ferentz’s head coaching prospects.
And now he gets a matchup with South, who’s scoring more than Seth does
with his sister.
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| Much like this clip, Chris's season has not gone as expected. |
8. Ah It’s Early – Seth’s doing everything he can to tank but Mahomes
and Riley just wouldn’t let that happen.
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| Mahomes is so good, he won't even let Seth lose. |
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