Week 3 is in the books and we’re back to check in on the Card Night Kangs. After an odd Week 1, the next two weeks have provided a little more clarity on our league this year. It’s still wide open as it seems like there’s 6 teams that could beat about anyone on any given weekend. However, the race for #1 pick is also taking shape. Not to spoil the rankings below but it seems like Kyle and Riley might as well start researching for the draft and saving up for our dinner.
But we’re getting way ahead of ourselves. There’s so much season left to enjoy. So without further ado, let’s get on with the
Power Rankings…
1. Ah It’s Early – After posting 200+ in each of the first two games, Seth pulled out a lower scoring game against Abel in order to stay undefeated and at the top of our rankings. His QBs came thru as usual but this week it was the #1 rookie pick catching more balls than Riley at an orgy saving his bacon after Gronk and his WRs decided to not score TDs in bunches. His perfect record is projected to extend past this weekend as he faces his wife’s brother. And we all know Seth has a proven record of slaying Lansink’s over the weekends.
2. Play It backwards – Mitch also sits with a perfect record and has actually been the most consistent team so far posting around 200 each week. He hasn’t really needed that so far as he’s faced the dregs of the league but the competition gets stepped up this week against Finken and then South and Seth. Kyler and Brady have been great each week and Kupp is the fantasy MVP so far. That’s good for Mitch because tied for Fantasy LeastVP is between his other two QBs, Tua and Fields. Yikes…
3. Rollin’ 4 Deep – Like his Eagles QB said after the Dallas game, Finken flushed the Week 1 turd by winning the last two over Lazer and Kyle. And while the wins count the same, he has yet to hit his projected point total for any week. It’s almost the opposite of his Huskers. Nebraska is probably a better team than they’ve shown but they’ve pissed 3 games down their legs with stupid mistakes. On the contrary, his R4D roster can’t put a solid week together but has fallen into winning the past few weeks. We’re not worried, though, as we’re sure Hines or Patterson will fill in admirably when called upon.
4. I’m Out – After beating the defending champ in Week 1, Abel got unlucky last week losing by a fraction to South. And then he gets beat by Seth in Week 3 mainly because CMC and Shepard both went out early with injuries. He’ll be praying that McCaffrey won’t be out for too long but if there’s a 3 week stretch to be without him, having Riley-Lazer-Kyle coming up isn’t the worst time for it to happen. Luckily he had the foresight to grab Hubbard in the draft and got ODBag back from injury. That’s the best foresight Abel has had since grabbing 2 extra cases of Busch Light for that dirt road party next to the Jensen 40 back in high school….knew that keg was going to run dry.
5. If We’re Using Logic – Chris finally got one in the win column against South after a rough start to the season. Josh Allen finally broke out but the victory was mainly due to the “Devonte Parker Memorial 5th Year Breakout Player” award winner for 2021…Mike Williams. He’s finally healthy and seeing a ridiculous stream of targets. Unfortunately for Chris, it came at the expense of his Chiefs this weekend. Much like Andy Reid, Chris almost had a heart attack when he saw that the Bills put up 43 points. Fortunately for Chris, Allen’s 41 points weren’t heavily shared with Diggs. And while Mahomes will get their ship righted and probably make the Super Bowl again, Lazer still has some work to do if he’s going to make a run. That work mostly involves playing his players that score lots of points and not playing his players that do not score lots of points.
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| Chris trying to set his lineup each week. |
6. Fuck It Three – In all reality, South should be 0-3, which would’ve been a shock to everyone. Abel would’ve given at least 5-to-1 odds on that happening. If the super mediocre CEH doesn’t get the ball knocked out, (which meant Lamar got to pad his stats a bit in sealing that victory) that’s where South is sitting right now. But he’s Garrett and the universe had other plans. However, that doesn’t mean the Power Rankings have to abide. We call them like we see them. So South must be ranked behind the teams he just lost to (or should’ve). Now if he loses this week to Kyle…oh man, there’s not enough Skittles or Mtn Dew in MN to drown his sorrows.
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| Come on South, just eat it for a year. |
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| Kyle trying to rebuild his team next year with 2nd round picks. |
8. Smells Low – Our only winless team has already waived the white flag and offered to trade away for younger pieces or draft capital. But he doesn’t want to give up any good players or his own capital so…
Which brings us to….
Hot Take Trade Analysis
South gets David Montgomery, Jared Goff, a 2022 5th and 6th and a 2023 4th
Riley gets Mac Jones, Kenneth Gainwell, and a 2022 3rd (Kyle) and a 2023 1st
Garrett bolsters his surprisingly shallow roster with another solid RB
in his quest for another 2nd place finish. Montgomery isn’t sexy but he’s the workhorse
of the team and won’t do Riley any good in a year or two. And Goff could win the “Bortles Garbage Time
QB of the Year” award this season. Riley
gets two young pieces and a few decent draft picks. Mac Jones could be decent but has a ceiling
of QB 15 most likely. Gainewell could be
a usable PPR RB but probably won’t ever have true RB1 potential. The real value here is the draft picks which
the 3rd should be either Pick 17 or 18 next year and nabbing his
third 1st rounder in 2023.
Riley is setting himself up to take on Lazer’s best draft ever™ in a few
years.
We say South probably wins the trade but Riley gets what he wants after throwing in the towel after 3 weeks. Good job gents...
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