Week 8

Week 8 is in the books and things are starting to take shape for the playoff picture.  There are 4 teams at the top who have set themselves in a great position record-wise and the 4 bottom teams that had better start reeling off some wins or they’ll be fighting for draft position.  This past week was full of blow-outs with the average margin of victory being 49 points.  Riley, I’ll explain how I got there since you had some substandard education in your high school days.  There are already a few projected blow-outs for the upcoming week and surprise, surprise; Abel is featured prominently in one of them.  This is also the first week of the season where we are playing teams for the second time so coaching and film review will really come into play going forward.  There weren’t any blatant roster omissions that got someone beat but our #1 team, once again, takes home the Caesar award.  Let’s get on with the Halloween power rankings…

1.       Fuck It Three – Garrett reclaimed the top spot after beating Seth pretty soundly to avoid losing 3 straight.  And let’s be honest, South doesn’t do things straight very often.  However, for the second week in a row, Southy makes one of the dumbest roster moves.  This week, starting Teddy Bridgewater over Big Ben Bathroomraper.  TB is a rookie playing on road and Ben had been pretty consistent going into a for-sure shoot-out with Luck.  While this didn’t affect the outcome, it cost him 35 points scored, which could come into play with playoff seeding or tiebreakers down the road.  Fortunately South gets to pound some Gopher ass this week lining it up against Abel and is already favored by 20 points.  The rich get richer and South fantasy-sports’ all over us again. 

 

2.       Smells Low – Riley got his nose bloodied this week by Lehman.  Almost everyone in his lineup except his 2 QBs performed way below their projected total.  His bench wouldn’t have helped much as the only guys who scored decently were all random dudes no one would start anyway.  But if Riley wanted to start checking out some of his random dudes, I guess college is a good time to experiment with it.  Although his 3 game winning streak was snapped, he has still scored the 2^nd most points and is favored in his next matchup with Finken.  As noted before, his QBs will keep him competitive but he needs his other players to at least show up or Riley will end up looking like this guy. 

3.       If We’re Using Logic – Chris could’ve almost been arrested for assaulting a special needs child for the beating he put on Abel, more than doubling up his score.  Chris’s active roster almost scored more than Abel’s entire roster and bench.  A closer look into the numbers shows Chris has been very fortunate as he’s scored the second lowest points in the league now and has faced (by far!) the lowest amount of points.  If Kyle weren’t basically in the same boat and Chris hadn’t recently beat Kyle, Lazer would be sitting at #4 or 5.  At some point, this will catch up to the both of them.  It could be this weekend for Chris as about half of his roster is on bye against Mitch.  This is an epic coaching matchup but being short-handed, Chris will most likely be coaching middle school while Mitch is operating at varsity level. 

4.       Off Suit 10s – Well, Kyle called his shot and delivered so we have to give credit where credit is due.  He wasn’t just trying to extend the game with K, 9, 4.  Despite his QB of the future throwing 2 pick-sixes, Kyle pretty much optimized his lineup.  It was a rare instance when Kyle actually has a hand to play.  It helped that Riley was basically void of trump to set his bid.  Kyle also made the bold move of dropping CJ2K to CJ2WaiverWire.  Kyle could move himself further up the list if he takes care of business against Seth, as predicted.  But just like any Hawkeye on a moped, these things never work out the way they’re supposed to. 

5.       Ah It’s Early – After 2 straight wins, Seth falters again to South.  He had a glimmer of hope going into MNF being down 58 but having Romo, Dez and Dan Bailey still to play.  But unfortunately Jerry Jones’s crew shit the bed and Romo pulled a Romo and Seth got Romo’d.  Seth was favored by 9 in this matchup and had 5 guys on the bench that scored right at or above 20 points.  It wouldn’t have made much difference as the margin of South’s victory was too steep.  Things are only going to get worse this coming week as he’s not going to have Forte, Jordy, Stafford and maybe Romo.  Maybe instead of whining like a bitch about a trade that everyone was very aware of, Seth should’ve not Romo’d his lineup down his leg. 

6.       Bye Week – Finken beat Mitch handily and has now won 2 in row.  However, those 2 wins came over the 2 worst teams in the rankings so I wouldn’t get too excited just yet.  But in 3 weeks, he’s gone from hopeless and in last place to middle of the road and basically tied for the 4^th most points after scoring the highest point total in the league last week.  A wise pick-up of Miami’s D helped Finken get there but it could’ve been much more if he would’ve left Foles and Fitzgerald in his lineup.  This was borderline Caesar award appropriate because he may need help with some of the tiebreakers at the end of the season.  Finken’s true season begins now as he’s going against the top 4 teams in the league the next 4 weeks.  He can either make the move to the postseason or Taylor Martinez the season away.

 

7.       Play It Backwards – Oh how the mighty have fallen and much like his Bears, Mitch may have dug the hole too deep by now.  He has now lost 3 in a row and is now trying to unload his overvalued veterans in order to build for next year.  Although Watkins cost him a TD by lollygagging into the end zone, it wouldn’t have mattered as he was up against the highest point total of the year.  He couldn’t have logically played anyone on his bench that would’ve helped either.  Mitch knew he was in trouble early since Finken had 56 points after Thursday’s game.  He will get his top WRs back this week most likely but if he has any hope, he needs to spend his time this week focusing on beating Chris and not worry about Dowling.  Once Indianola is out of the playoffs, it will give him more time to focus on what is really important, cards and fantasy football, not silly things like your job or family. 

 

 

8.       Goldy’s Heroes – Where do we begin?  Geno Smith got Abel negative points, Floyd put up a goose egg and $cam Newton felt the wrath of the LOB.  Abel also decided not to start a defense as SF was on bye although he adjusted his roster for the other byes.  It was a bold move and he found out pretty quick that it didn’t pan out for him.  I also believe this results in some kind of penalty according to the by-laws.  Murray did his usual thing but much like David Cobb against Illinois, Abel fumbled his roster and the game away.  Next year, we might want to invite Abel’s son Jack to play in his place as his decisions and draft ability could not be any worse.