Season 4 - Week 5

Week 5 has come and gone and we’re now nearing the halfway point of the season.  There are definitely three different tiers dividing the league at this point: the top tier, the bottom tier, and the Mitch tier. The top 3 teams are clearly playoff bound but that last spot could really go to any of the next 4 teams.  At 2-3 and very little point differential, it wouldn’t surprise your moderators if any of these teams emerged to grab the final playoff spot (except Abel, come on).  This week has some interesting matchups with the top 2 teams going head-to-head, a rematch of the past 2 title games, a grudge match between Mitch and Finken and last but not least, the most heated, spiteful, nasty game of the day: Riley vs. Abel. 

Hot Take Trade Analysis – Kyle gets Golden Tate, South gets Kyle’s 4^th round pick – South gives up quickly on the trade asset in a potent offense that he acquired in order to unload TJ Yeldon’s corpse.  All for a draft pick that probably won’t make his opening roster in 2017.  That sound is Garrett sobbing because Mitch tried to give him Marvin Jones instead of Tate at last year’s draft.  Also because earlier, Garrett gave OF10s Diggs for a draft pick and Jimmy Graham, which he then dropped and Kyle picked right back up.  South, I think your 37 spreadsheets and algorithms are broken. 

Garrett really needs to draw up a new trading strategy.

 

And now, on with the rankings…

1.         Off Suit 10s – Kyle’s 2015-Iowa-like-luck continued this week as he was an underdog to the hapless PIB while half his roster was either on bye or injured.  Really the only decision Kyle had to make was to start Sammie Coates over Nelson Agholor, and fortunately for him, he chose wisely.  While our viewpoints of Kyle’s team are well known, it is too difficult to keep OS10s out of the top spot at 5-0.  This will either be remedied or validated over the next 2 weeks when he faces the 2 actual best teams in Seth and South.  Kyle enters this rough stretch in his schedule preparing for a Browns-level QB disaster, sporting 6 QBs on his roster.  Hey, at least he still has a kicker at this point.

Kyle's record, the 8th wonder of the world.

 

2.         Ah It’s Early – Seth put another notch on his Lansink family tree by really giving it to IWUL.  Derek Carr is quietly putting together a solid year and David Johnson is the real deal.  If Melvin Gordon can continue to make up for last year’s TD-less season, AIE will continue to dominate.  It’s a battle for the top spot in the rankings this week as AIE faces the undefeated OS10s.  Seth is currently favored by a whole bunch of the fake points and hopes to outscore Kyle for the fifth week in a row.  It won’t be a big surprise if Seth “upsets” the #1 ranked team as Kyle’s other team has recently been susceptible to upsets…

 



3.         Fuck It Three – The Steelers played again this week, so South ended up winning and posting high points.  BellBrownBerger netted just over 80 points and made it look easy.  Kelvin has slowed his pace tremendously, but netted a dozen while Crabtree did what Crabtree does and caught a TD pass.  Additionally, the Vikings D appears to be one of the top waiver wire additions of 2017.  In the rematch of the past two championship games, Garrett looks to close the door a bit more on Lazer’s 3peat dreams and move closer to losing in the title game to someone else this year.

 

South methodically marches on.

4.         I’m Out – Not sure anyone really deserves 4^th place this week but Abel gets it by default.  He was in a tough situation with both top QBs concussed and a few key skill guys on bye.  But really, it was his beloved Vikings that crushed his hopes this week.  Their D held Osweiler and Fuller to minimal points and their O didn’t do much for Bradford, Rudolph and Walsh.  Just like in real life, the Vikings will always eventually let you down.  But wait, Brock Osweiler isn’t on Abel’s team you say?  Actually he is!  But did he trade Riley for him you ask?  No, Abel picked him up off the waiver wire!  But surely it was a normal transaction late in the week, right?  No, Abel used $40 in fake money to claim one of the worst QBs in the league!  But let’s not dwell on that and focus on Abel learning to use the FAAB system.  Babysteps! 

 

Four years in a Abel's starting to get it...almost.

5.         Rollin’ 4 Deep – Finken survived a challenge by Riley and saved some glimmer of hope for his season that seemed to be more doomed than Billy Bush’s career.  R4D withstood a number of byes this week and another TD-less effort from Lamar Miller, who so far this year has scored less than Finken at South’s wedding.  The byes may have been a good thing as it didn’t allow him many choices that would’ve let him screw up the decision making of his Flex options.  With Mitch up next on the schedule, getting back to .500 is about as sure a thing as a Finken 3 bid.

Just try it Finken, just take a top RB out of your lineup.

6.         Smells Low – Brady came back with a vengeance and Greg Olsen did everything possible Monday night to try to nose by Finken.  But similar to his rural Montana love life, he ended up a bit short and disappointed.  Riley has a chance to build some momentum in the next few weeks going against Abel, Mitch and Lazer.  But with most of his skill talent being more average than the Indianola football team, it could prove to be more easily said than done.  But for a guy donning hats like Riley does, skill and talent are not something he needs to worry about.

Actually looking at the rest of his roster, probably not.

 

7.         If We’re Using Logic – After the Thursday night game, Chris knew he was in more trouble than Trump with a microphone.  David Johnson and the AZ D hung a fifty cent piece while John Brown managed 1 measly catch.  A barrage of injuries have really taken a toll on the defending champ.…wait a minute…our analysts have just informed us that IWUL is not suffering from the injury bug.  They’re just terrible.  If not for a garbage-time from Eli to ODBag, Chris would be headed for the trifecta of poor manager fees with low score of the year.  It was probably not having HOFer Doug Baldwin in there that left IWUL 68.68 points short this week.  Since there wasn’t a Cesaer of the Week move that would’ve allowed anyone to overtake their opponent, let’s award it in spirit to IWUL this week for having Bennett on the bench with his 3 TDs.  Everyone knows that if there’s one thing that Brady loves more than a good tight end, it’s two good tight ends.

 


Don't we all...

8.         Play It Backwards - 0-5...