Week 8 is in the books and the 2nd half is now
underway. This was one of the most
competitive weeks in recent memory (except for Mitch) with 3 teams losing by
just a handful of points and 2 games coming down to MNF. It could be quite the opposite this week as
right now, only 1 game is projected to be within 15 points. On a final note, the trade deadline is Saturday,
November 12 so you have until then to get your trade requests into Lehman. And now, on with the Power Rankings…
 |
| Why are these girls dancing and excited...trading with Kyle? |
 |
| No, free dildo on the field. |
1.
Ah It’s Early – Seth’s team came out and played
angry after his 2nd loss of the season and put up 203 on PIB. Carr threw for over 500 yards and a good
chunk of them went to Cooper to put up 76 combined points. That’s more yards than the amount of pipe
Seth’s laid up and down the Lansink family tree. But he had better be careful this week trying
to avenge his first loss of the season so Riley doesn’t nose him out of 1st
place. DJ, JReed and the Gingerbread QB
are on Bye and his other QBs and main WR are facing Denver and Minnesota. He’s still a heavy favorite over Riley as should take care of business before facing South in Week 10.
 |
| Seth's still the man to beat. |
2.
Fuck It Three – While South was in town to crash
Halloween parties and trick-or-treat with the neighborhood kids in order to
replenish his candy stash, he must have also grabbed that lucky horseshoe and
placed it back deep within the confines of his ass where it typically resides
(unless it’s against Chris in the playoffs).
With 5 regular starters out or on Bye, Garrett was happy to put up 131
and keep it respectable. It was tight
going into MNF but Garrett just needed 10 points from Asiata and the MN D
going, so no big deal right? Finken’s
roster incompetence was only outdone by the entire Vikings roster but those two
managed to combine for 12 points and edge out R4D. So instead of being 4-4 and on the brink of
the playoffs, Garrett’s 5-3 with the PIB-bye-week coming next without AJ Green. Just seems like it’s always a good day to be
South.
 |
| If we had to guess, most weeks Garrett is oblivious to what's going on despite continuing to win. |
3.
Off Suit 10s – For those that missed it, Kyle
bet Chris $20 at the Halloween party that Kyle would make the playoffs. He was beyond confident on Saturday night even though his Cubs choked another World Series game knowing Bortles put up 33 on TNF . But in typical fashion for OS10s this
year, the rest of his offense fell flat on their faces and left the match with
Abel a coin flip going into MNF. Abel
had it in hand until Diggs caught a late garbage TD to seal the victory and
keep him from falling further in the standings.
OS10s, the team built on garbage.
Anyway, OS10s is 6-2 now scoring the 2nd lowest points. And as luck would have it, he gets Lazer
while he’s having major RB issues and Gronk on Bye. Now we’re actually kind of rooting for Kyle
to make the playoffs because having someone competing for the title that also
has to buy the food for the draft would be of the highest of comedy.
 |
| This is how we imagine Kyle reacting after every bullshit win this year. |
 |
| And this is the rest of our reactions. |
4.
Rollin’ 4 Deep – We might have to rename the
Ceasar Award after this year to the Finken Award since it seems like he’s taken
it home every other week. Like a sober
Riley scanning an ISU bar for his prey at closing time, R4D was in prime
position to take down South when he was most vulnerable. His QBs did their job putting up 60 combined
points but the injuries to Ware and Hilton made the rest of his starters less potent than Finken in the bedroom. No, there were 7 guys on his bench that
would’ve given him the win. 7!!!! Aside from it being a great name for a child,
that’s just awful fantasy sportsing. He must
regroup quickly as there’s a similar situation coming up as a huge favorite against
Abel without Palmer or Blount. Another misstep and it could be fatal in his playoff hopes.
 |
| Finken's going to pull it off.....never mind. |
5.
If We’re Using Logic – Amazingly enough through
8 weeks, IWUL and R4D has exactly the same record and scored the same amount of
points. That’s pretty insane when you
think about it. We’d get into the
statistical meaning of it but Riley didn’t have a quality math education and I
don’t think the Winterset boys learned to count past 6 since that’s how many
Busch Lights came together.
 |
| Don't worry Loretta, Kyle and Abel don't know either. |
Anyway, Finken gets the nod over
Lazer since he was victorious in their Week 3 matchup and Chris couldn’t figure
out a way to beat Riley. Technically
there was a way for him to eek into the Ceasar discussion but it would’ve taken
numerous non-logic-driven moves and we didn’t have enough crayons to draw it
out. Julio and ODBag had not better not
not no-show this week against Lehman (who beat him in Week 2 by 0.08 points) since all Lazer’s RBs have tougher
matchups than Abel trying to navigate Merle Hay.
With 5 of
his starters playing on TNF in the Falcons-Bucs game, we'll know early if he and Kyle are still best friends.
 |
| Somehow I doubt this will hold if Kyle beat's Chris again. |
6.
Smells Low – The pattern lives! And it should continue with an L this week,
despite Seth’s Bye weeks, as Riley is facing off against the top scoring team
without Brady or Edelman. Riley had no
respect for his elders putting Chris out to pasture this week with Brady’s 4
TDs leading the way. Losing CJ Anderson
for the season is going to hurt but getting Moncrief back should bolster his turrible
WR corps. At 4-4, he’s put himself right
back in the conversation of playoff talk but if that talk might not last long
as he’s got the top 4 teams the next 4 weeks.
His fate may be sealed by the time he gets to play Abel and Mitch again.
 |
| Even without DJ, Seth's probably going to roll over Riley. |
7.
I’m Out – Despite narrowly losing by 8 points
and only scoring 139, there was literally nothing Abel could’ve done to beat
his fellow Winterset redneck. One
positive is he did manage not to play a guy that would’ve scored negative
points, a huge step for Abel. He’s lost
5 in a row and gets to play a full strength R4D with 4-5 of his main guys on Bye. But the way Finken has managed his team, this
could be close and may come down the kicker Abel decides to pick up, if he
remembers to set his lineup properly. So
far Jared’s management skills have been adequate this year even if his roster
hasn’t. We think he’s about due for a
Bye week slipup.
 |
| Can Abel get his lineup set for a 9th consecutive week? |
8.
Play It Backwards – Don’t worry Mitch, your spot
in the 1st pick playoff game is pretty much secured at this
point. Now, just don’t get low points…
 |
| Just keep fighting Mitch... |
No comments:
Post a Comment